Vegan Raw Food Diet - Erim's Raw Food Testimonial

Having stood at death's door, weak and emaciated, his organ function severely compromised, he realized there had to be a better way, a way to remain thin without the intense suffering resulting from anorexia nervosa.

This is his raw food testimonial in his own words.

We were one unhealthy family alright.

My father was the healthiest person in the enitre family. An average guy, he always weighed 70 kilograms (154lb). Never changed.

Even though his head was balding, and he had severe pains in his joints, he was still in pretty good shape.

My mother is truly one of the most intelligent people I know, yet she was also one of the most ignorant when it came to health.

Before she got married at the age of 30, she weighed around 75 kilograms (165lb), and was a beautiful woman.

After giving birth to me, she failed to lose the weight she had gained and stayed at 95 kilograms (209lb), and, six years later, she got pregnant again.

Along with my brother came another 30 kilograms (66lb), taking mom up to 125 kilograms (275lb)!

At this point, I also began to gain weight.

I had always been a skinny kid, but suddenly I began gaining weight like a sponge dipped in water.

I gained so much weight during one summer holiday that my friends had a hard time recognizing me when school began again.

My mother was trying all sorts of diets, all sorts of dieticians, and giving promises and all, but kept failing, failing, and failing to lose weight.

No matter what she did, no matter how much our entire family tried to help her, she kept gaining weight steadily.

I was getting my share of the pie too, literally. I was eating and eating and eating.

McDonalds became my favorite place, and in our family, eating meat and bread was critical. Those were the two must-haves at every meal: meat and bread. You didn’t get to leave the table without finishing your meat and bread.

It was obvious that our diet wasn’t doing us any favors, but we all thought that the reason we were getting fat was because we weren’t moving enough.

Sure, we definitely WEREN’T moving enough. My parents tried to get me to do some sports, but with no positive results.

As I grew, both in age and in size, I began to experience more and more problems due to my weight.

First of all, I couldn’t play with my friends, I was too heavy. People made fun of me, and pretty soon I started to distance myself from society.

While my friends “grew up”, and started putting on make-up, dating each other, and stopped dreaming or thinking or questioning, I was the kid who sat at the back of the class, behind his pile of comic books, science magazines and fantastic literature, drawing comic book characters.

The single good thing my fatness brought me was that it kept me away from society, and therefore kept me from getting sucked into the various hypes people were going crazy about.

At age 15, I prided myself for my interest in college-grade mathematics and various branches of modern science.

Another of my favorite ways to spend time was philosophy, I kept wondering about and questioning and thinking around the many question marks the universe was throwing at me.

Meanwhile, my brother was 9 years old, and weighed 50 kilograms (110lb)! My mother was 45 years old, and weighed 145 kilograms (319lb)! My father was at his steady 70 (154lb).

Me? I was around 170 centimetres (5 foot 6), and weighed 100 kilograms (220lb) already!

We were all trying to go on diets, yet I was always visiting the kitchen and looking in the fridge, the cupboards, etc. Only now do I understand that my body was probably seeking nutrition constantly.

One day I got on that scale, saw the ever-rising number, and felt waves of frustration mixed with dedication.

I started walking furiously around the house, talking about how I was going to change my life. I would no longer be fat, I would do whatever it took to lose this weight, I was serious about it, dammit!

This lasted about 5 days, until one of us ordered a pizza and everyone decided it couldn’t hurt to take a single bite.

Below - Erim before anorexia.

They weren’t walking the talk, they were smoking at least a pack daily, my father was drinking alcohol, my mother was a fast-food junkie, and they were both drinking tea and coffee for hydration!

I have five aunts, and one of them had the good habit of eating lots of fruits. Whenever she came to visit us, she would bring a kilo or two of delicious fruits, and she peeled them for us.

I remember totally BINGEING on them.

Me and my brother were fighting each other to get more.

Other than her, my entire family was a mess: my grandmother died from lymph cancer: one of my grandfathers died of cancer at a very early age, the other had tumors in his brain, type 2 diabetes, high-cholesterol, obesity, everything.

Other than my fruit eating aunt, all my other aunts had chronic diseases and obesity, with the youngest one fighting with type 2 diabetes.

We were all sinking, but seemed to be happy about it, for we weren’t changing in any way.

Everyone told us we needed to do something, and we all agreed, but nothing changed; we were nodding while stuffing another bite of chocolate down our throats.

I was the king of my own world: I was studying for art college, drawing pretty awesome stuff by then, reading tons of books, writing video game reviews for magazines, giving conferences on the beauty of mathematics.

I was always drawing and writing, showing my face wasn’t for me. I despised myself, I used pseudonyms so nobody knew it was me.

My family told me I was a very handsome boy, but you know families, they always think you’re the best no matter who you are. The school was where I was getting the truth, in-your-face style.

Kids had no remorse, they said it straight up: “You’re ugly” or “Freak”

They called me a million names, always pushing me around and bullying me. They commented on how I smelled, around girls and all.

They laughed at my horrible case of acne.

In gym class, nobody wanted me on their team, and usually I was told to sit at the side and watch the game. I was so bad with girls, whenever I saw one I just couldn’t speak and tended to run away.

I got out and walked about 10 kilometers under a very heavy, cold rainfall. I thought about my life as I walked.

My family was tearing itself apart. The only thing that kept my parents from getting a divorce was us, the children.

I hated my father and loved my mother and brother. My brother was a very spoiled kid, he’d start whining at the smallest of discomforts. I thought about all these issues during those 10 kilometers.

After that I got on a bus and went home.

But I liked the walk. It left me refreshed, a feeling that was alien to me. It also allowed me to come home late, take a shower, and go right to bed, avoiding any confrontations with my father.

A week later I decided to do it again, I put on my earphones and walked 20 kilometers. My feet hurt a lot, but I felt it was worth it.

I told the kids at school about it, and they thought I was crazy. Which only made me want to do it more. I wanted to walk.

I didn’t think it was possible for me to lose fat so that was not my goal. I was convinced that the fat was in my genes, it was my destiny. So it was not for weight loss.

I walked to be free, anonymous to everyone I passed on the street.

Nobody knew me, nobody could judge me. I was in no-man’s land, roaming freely, thinking, feeling and showing my emotions. Sometimes I cried, I just felt good.

I kept walking and walking. Pretty soon I was walking 30 kilometers a time.

About a month later, something magical happened. Something beautiful. Something dreadful. I fell in love.

She was all I could think of. I had never felt anything like it. I had been made fun of by both my friends and family (yes, FAMILY), for not showing any interest in girls.

It wasn’t like I was showing interest in boys, but people still jokingly called me gay. But here I was, hopelessly in love.

I turned to my books, but Einstein wasn’t helping me. Nor were my comics. All they showed me was some guy getting super-powers out of nowhere and impressing the girl.

I needed help, but the only person I could really talk to was my mother and I really didn’t want to talk about girls with her, so I didn’t have anybody to go to for advice.

So I did nothing.

I just kept walking and crying. Tried talking to the girl, but it was horrible. I needed to do something.

One day, somebody asked me if I had lost any weight lately, said I looked thinner. I wasn’t stepping on the scale anymore after reaching the 110 kilogram (242lb) mark, so I had no idea.

I went home and quickly got on the scale. I couldn’t believe my eyes: I had lost 5 kilograms (11 lb)!

This was incredible. It meant that fat wasn’t my destiny, it wasn’t in my genes at all.

It meant that I COULD lose weight if I wanted!

I undressed, and stood before the mirror. I took a good, hard look at my reflection. I knew no girl would like me this way, I had to change.

I had heard once that drinking water was really good for you. I quickly bought a huge glass and started drinking tons of water.

I was drinking 3-4 litres a day, pretty different from my usual 1.5 - 2 litres a day. I cut out fatty foods, I cut out bread. I stopped eating dinner. I walked 30 km 3 times a week.

In six months, I had lost 20 kilograms (44lb). Still chubby, but pretty good. My family were proud of my change. I still couldn’t open up to the girl, but I at least managed to chat with her, get to know her better.

I also had a pretty bad final fight with my father, and left home at age 17.

Summer came, and my family went on vacation for two months.

That’s when it all went to hell.

I had learned about the concept of calories. But not very deeply, all I knew was that the more calories you ate, the more energy you got and if you ate more calories than you needed, they’d get stored as fat in the body.

Basic maths said that if I ate very little to no calories, my body would use the stored calories (fat), and so I’d burn fat much faster.

I was right in my reasoning, but I didn’t take into consideration - because I was unaware of the fact - that if I remained active, fat would be insufficient as fuel and my body would also start breaking down protein; muscles and organs for fuel.

Most people would get fatigued and fall apart on a zero-calorie, anorexic diet, but not me, no.

I was stubborn, I was determined to see this through.

I’d stay hungry for five days, then eat 500 calories of apples and yogurt, along with incredible amounts of salt. I’d get diarrhea immediately, and most of the food was out in seconds.

At night, I slept in the cold, so that I could burn more calories.

I was taking antibiotics for my acne the whole time. Every day I took 3 times the recommended dosage.

I rode my bike 45 kilometers every morning, and later walked the 30 kilometer road again.

Some days, I’d walk the 30 km road and back, so it would be 60 kilometers in one walk.

I would return home hungry, and just drink water, take a shower, (I left the door open because I felt like I was about to faint during hot, steamy showers) and go to bed, naked, in the cold.

I drew pictures of the girl I loved. Hung them on the walls of my room, to keep myself motivated.

I started to drink coffee and green tea, lots of it, to stimulate my body further.

When my family came back, I was at my all-time lowest weight of 55 kilograms (121 lb), and was about to die, literally.

I couldn’t think, I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t do anything. I would go to sleep, afraid I wouldn’t wake up. I saw things that weren’t there, heard voices, had hallucinations.

School started, and I barely survived each day. I was eating around 400 calories a day now. My skin was literally yellow at this point. Like in the Simpson's.

The final blow came after a month back at school: The girl I loved was in a relationship with someone else, and had been for months.

I went home, took down all my pictures and cried for hours. I hated myself.

A bleak month passed. It was winter. A cold one. I was freezing. I undressed, and looked at myself in the mirror.

I looked at my empty hands. I had nothing left. My body was almost gone, everything I valued was gone, my family, my home, all gone.

I had thrown away all my artwork, thrown away my pills and teas.

My room was empty. My clothes were all black. I didn’t listen to music, didn’t watch anything, didn’t read anything. I had nothing left. It was all gone.

I cried again for a good, long time. Then I realized that the only thing I had left was the smarts. All my life, it had served to alienate me. Now, it would save my life.

I called my mother at midnight and asked her to come over. She came, and I told her in tears what I had been through.

She cried with me, promised me it would be okay. I slept well for the first time in a long time that night. I closed the windows, and finally slept in a warm bed.

We visited an army of doctors.

They put me on a diet. I gained 10 kilograms (22lb) in the first week.

Nobody could believe it. But it wasn’t working, I was feeling sicker, although the calories definitely helped.

It took two more months for me to learn to value myself again. I finally stopped being against my body. I understood that I needed to heal.

I dropped everything. Didn’t go to school. Unplugged everything. I grabbed some pens, paper and my glasses. It was time to do some digging.

The first thing I did was go to the library and bring home all the books on nutrition I could find.

I studied, mostly without sleep, around 3000 pages in a month. I used Google’s “Books” service to grab copies of college-grade nutrition textbooks.

I talked to people on the nutrition scene on the internet.

The first thing I concluded was that junk foods weren’t doing me any favors at all.

The second thing was that excess dietary fat wasn’t doing me any favors. The only fat requirement for our bodies seemed to be the essential fatty acids.

The third thing I understood was that all other animals who lived in the wild enjoyed perfect health and were eating a natural diet.

My beloved grandma had lived most of her life in a village in the mountains, and with the stories I heard from her, confirmed by my own research, I understood that animals were either born with, or would develop any organs and techniques they would need to secure their natural foods.

At that point, I found Natural Hygiene.

Since it was obvious that excess fat wasn’t doing us any favors and considering that our protein requirements weren’t very high either - even official guidelines recommended 10% of our calories from protein - the remaining 90% had to come from carbohydrates. (I hadn’t thought of the fat percentage at that point, I thought it would be 0% if I ate no overt fats).

I did more searching, and eventually found Dr. Douglas Graham. His book made so much sense, and all of his info fitted in with the currently accepted medical information.

The sugar / fat / fiber /glycemic load questions were explained, so no questions remained about diabetes.

The diet was able to bring together all of the essential nutrients known to man, and without any of the side effects possible from other foods.

On a scale of net biological gain, it was the best out there. The data also fitted in with observations of nature: No other animal cooks, no other animal takes pills, powders or drugs. All animals use their own limbs and skills to secure and consume their food. It all made sense.

I jumped right in.

Well, what can I say?

It’s been 6 months on the vegan raw food diet now, and I’m feeling MUCH better!

I haven’t gained any weight, disproving the claim that anorexics will gain more weight than what they started out with once they start recovery eating.

My body is loving the fruit, it is digested very easily.

I’ll admit that the vegan raw food diet requires motivation to stick with.

All my friends and family tell me that I’m crazy and I’m going to die from protein deficiency. I have learned how to deal with what people think of me.

I always try my best to find fruit when I go someplace, and as my raw food testimonial proves, when you’re dedicated enough, anything is easy to do.

I have measured my exact height, weight, body fat percentage, and calorie requirements. I have used diet analysis programs to monitor my diet.

Raw Food Benefits

I am always well-hydrated. My heart rate is steady and easy. I don’t feel stimulated, I feel calm. My mind is always clear on the vegan raw food diet.

I have no cravings.

I look after myself, I stay active, I get sunlight, I get enough rest. I eat enough fruit to meet my nutritional needs, and back it up with some salad in the evenings.

Sometimes I eat a little bit of avocado or maybe some nuts or seeds. I mostly eat mono-meals, except for my salads.

I don’t care what other people think of the vegan raw food diet. I think people are way too excited about diet.

I mean, it’s just a few pieces of food that goes through your mouth, but people look at that and judge your character by what you choose to put in your mouth, as if you’re not a “real man” if you don’t eat meat.

Umm, I think it’s just something that goes down your throat, how does that make you manly? Or it’s just a bite of apple that goes down my throat, how does that make me any less-manly?

I try to help my brother and mother to lose weight, but it’s very hard.

I hope we’ll get there, eventually. I don’t recommend people do to themselves what I have done to myself in the past, and I hope that whoever you are, you read The 80/10/10 Diet someday.

I call it “The Human Body’s Manual.” I try my best to help anyone who asks for my help.

I am especially sensitive to people with eating disorders.

I know this sounds like drama, but I have seen what death looks like and it’s very scary being that close to it.

I don’t think I can describe it other than to say, it’s cold.

You don’t want to be there. But there is a way out, you just need to choose to take it.

I’d like to end this with a quote from Dr. Doug Graham: “Healthful living has no contra-indications; live healthfully and expect health as a result.”